Memorise the fifty states and state capitals using the Link Method
You could memorise the fifty states and the state capitals using various methods, but I’ve just been working on a simple (but very strange) little story that seems to do the trick quite nicely. And it’s all done with the Link Method (and using some pretty ropey links at that), and by creating some weird and hard-to-forget images.
Like all good stories (these days, anyway) it starts with violence, and perpetrated by a well known figure no less. There’s a touch of religion and a hint of sex, and later on there’s a bit of cheerleading and even a flying hamster, so it ticks all the boxes really. So … why is there mention of a Ming vase? Or a movie about seven Daleks led by a French geezer? I could explain, but you’d only end up very, very confused. You’ll just have to read the whole thing to find out.
A word of warning though – it really won’t make much sense, so, for the sake of your mental health, don’t expect it to. The good news is, it doesn’t need to. In fact, it’s all the better for being nonsensical; the images it suggests are so unlikely that they’re probably going to stick in your memory whether you like it or not!
Weird images make it easy to memorise the fifty states
Read through it a few times and I’m pretty sure you’ll automatically build up some weird sort of mental imagery of the whole thing. And before too long you won’t just know the states and the state capitals, you’ll know them in order, and without any fuss at all.
Well, I put this together over the last day or two, and I’m close to memorising the whole thing already (and I’m not really trying). And if I can do it, with my memory problems, chances are you can do it as well, only better. And probably a whole lot faster!
Please suspend your disbelief temporarily
Okay now, roll up for a fantastic, enthralling, totally barmy story featuring characters that somehow, in some weird universe somewhere (hopefully, far, far away), help you memorise the fifty states and the state capitals. Step right up now … and please, ladies and gentlemen, suspend your disbelief on the hooks provided as you enter.
TO SET THE SCENE: There has been a shooting. The victim (for the sake of National Security) is referred to only as Al.
A very high ranking British officer is implicated. To avoid an international incident he is immediately (and very quietly) whisked away to the snowy wastes of Alaska, in the hope of avoiding a very messy and very public trial.
He is confused and disoriented; maybe he wasn’t in his right mind at the time? His memory of the incident is foggy. He repeatedly mutters to himself “D’you know why I’m here?
Let’s rewind a little and join this enthralling story as it gradually unfolds …
Someone shot Al, >BAM< (ALABAMA). First reports suggest it was Field Marshal MONTGOMERY.
He’s believed to currently be in freezing ALASKA and has been heard asking himself “D’you know why I’m here?” (JUNEAU).
He’d love to go to much warmer Harry’s zone (ARIZONA), but the only way would be to die and then rise up as a PHOENIX.
But then he thinks “Ah, I can saw” (ARKANSAS), so he grabs a LITTLE ROCK to saw with (told you he was confused!), and calls all four near (CALIFORNIA) and celebrates a sacrament (SACRAMENTO) (now he thinks he’s a priest!).
He celebrates it in vestments coloured red (COLORADO), and verging (DENVER) on the garish.
While he’s doing this, he connects jump leads (CONNECTICUT) to his car, and the power goes right to the heart of the Ford (HARTFORD).
This makes his mate Del aware (DELAWARE) that he must bend over (DOVER) to help start the car.
Del’s face is red from bending over – he’s florid (FLORIDA); now his back aches and he utters a curse that sounds like: “Tall-a-hass-eeee!” (TALLAHASSEE).
He calls his friend GEORGIA (a chiropractor), who’s crossed the Atlantic to see him (ATLANTA).
She says she aims to carry on and go across the Pacific to HAWAII, where she has two friends, Hono and Lulu (HONOLULU).
She says Lulu’s friend is Ida, who she calls a ho (IDAHO) because she’s had too many boys (she’s a bit too BOISIE).
Her excuse is she was made ill with all the noise (ILLINOIS), so she went to a health spa to get better. There was a spring in the field there (SPRINGFIELD).
But in the field there was an Indian (INDIANA), and the Indian called the police (INDIANAPOLIS).
The Indian shouted a war cry, which sounded like IOWA, but then faded to something softer, like demoyn (DES MOINES).
And the Indian can join the SAS (KANSAS), now that he’s proved he’s a top eker (one of the best ekers!) (TOPEKA).
He can also tuck (KENTUCKY) into a frankfurter (FRANKFORT).
Watching him eat and cheering him on were Louise and Anna (LOUISIANA) and they were cheerleading with a BATON ROUGE.
The main thing (MAINE) he realised was he hadn’t seen them since August (AUGUSTA), back in Mary’s land (MARYLAND), when Anna called the police (ANNAPOLIS), because the Master choosed to set (MASSACHUSETTS) the boss (BOSTON) of Mick’s gang (MICHIGAN), who was lancing (LANSING) a mini soda (MINNESOTA) in the shape of ST. PAUL.
Then Mrs. Sippy (MISSISSIPPI) asked Jack’s son (JACKSON) why all the misery (MISSOURI) in Jefferson’s city (JEFFERSON CITY)?
He said that Mt. Helena (MONTANA + HELENA) never broke (NEBRASKA) the Lincoln memorial (LINCOLN) and never damaged (NEVADA) cars in the city (CARSON CITY).
Meanwhile, a giant new hamster (NEW HAMPSHIRE) flew in on Concorde (CONCORD), wearing a new jersey (NEW JERSEY) with “TRENT” on the front (TRENTON).
It landed in NEW MEXICO and went straight away (SANTA FE) to NEW YORK and checked in at the ALBANY.
The Receptionist was not Carolina (NORTH CAROLINA) but even so she rallied (RALEIGH) against nine Daleks (NORTH DAKOTA) with a big smirk (BISMARCK) on her face.
Her big smirk was oh, so high (OHIO), and made her look like Christopher COLUMBUS (strange girl!).
And she noted that in the musical OKLAHOMA, even though OKLAHOMA CITY was never mentioned, the City of Ore had gone (OREGON) sailing (SALEM) on a pencil vane (PENNSYLVANIA) which collided with Harris’s iceberg (HARRISBURG).
The road to the island (RHODE ISLAND) provided (PROVIDENCE) stout Carolina (SOUTH CAROLINA) with a pass to Columbia Studios (COLUMBIA) to see a movie about seven Daleks (SOUTH DAKOTA) and their evil leader, PIERRE, who, strangely enough, used to be a country singer from Nashville, Tennessee (TENNESSEE, NASHVILLE).
A Texan (TEXAS) called Steve AUSTIN went to UTAH to test for salt in the city lake (SALT LAKE CITY) but found vermin (VERMONT) multiplying (MONTPELIER) by eating virginia leaves (VIRGINIA) piled up in a big rich mound (RICHMOND).
He was washing tons (WASHINGTON) of them out to the foot of Mt. Olympia (OLYMPIA) and washed the virginia leaves (WEST VIRGINIA) with Charlie (CHARLESTON).
He wished his cousin (WISCONSIN) wasn’t mad at his son (MADISON) and wondered why the Ming vase (WYOMING) looked shy to Anne (CHEYENNE).
I hope that made some kind of sense to you. Actually, no, if it did you should probably seek qualified medical help at the earliest opportunity. But at least when they’re doing their extensive psychological tests on you, you’ll be able to endlessly recite the fifty states (together with their capitals) to the doctors. That should impress them … er, maybe :/
Facts about the state capitals
Remember, the largest city in a state is not necessarily the state capital (in fact, in 33 states, that applies). Also, Alaska has more coastline than all the other states combined … wow! And the ten largest states (maybe even more) each have a land area greater than Britain. Lots more interesting facts about the state capitals on this page. Oh, and of course Kansas City is not only not the state capital of Kansas, it isn’t even in Kansas!! 🙄
You’ll also find a full list to help you memorise fifty states and state capitals on that page.
Here’s the story again …
This time it’s a slightly cut-down version and the states and state capitals have mostly been left out so you’ll have to make the connections yourself. Read through it a few times and it will worm its way into your memory!
Someone shot Al – looks like it was Field Marshal Montgomery. He’s in freezing Alaska, muttering “D’you know why I’m here?”
He’d love to go to Harry’s zone, but he’d have to die and rise up as a phoenix.
But he thinks “Ah, I can saw”, so he grabs a little rock and calls all four near and celebrates a sacrament. He’s wearing vestments coloured red, and verging on the garish.
While he’s doing this, he connects jump leads to his car, and the power goes to the heart of the Ford. This makes his mate Del aware that he must bend over to help start the car.
Del’s face is now red, he’s florid; he utters a curse that sounds like: “Tall-a-hass-eeee!”.
He calls his friend Georgia, who’s crossed the Atlantic to see him. She says she aims to carry on and cross the Pacific to Hawaii, where she has two friends, Hono and Lulu.
She says Lulu’s friend is Ida, who she calls a ho (too boysie).
Her excuse is she was made ill with the noise, so she went to a health spa with a spring in the field. In the field there was an Indian, and the Indian called the police.
The Indian shouted a warcry like Iowa, but then faded to demoyn.
And the Indian can join the SAS, now that he’s proved he’s a top eker.
He can also tuck into a frankfurter. Watching him were Louise and Anna, cheerleading with a baton rouge.
The main thing was he hadn’t seen them since August, back in Mary’s land, when Anna called the police, because the Master choosed to set the boss of Mick’s gang, who was lancing a mini soda in the shape of St Paul.
Then Mrs. Sippy asked Jack’s son why all the misery in Jefferson’s city?
He said that Mt. Helena never broke the Lincoln memorial and never damaged cars in the city.
Meanwhile, a giant new hamster flew in on Concorde, wearing a new jersey with “TRENT” on the front.
It landed in New Mexico and went straight away to New York and checked in at the Albany.
The Receptionist was not Carolina but she rallied against nine Daleks with a big smirk. Her smirk was oh, so high, and made her look like Christopher Columbus.
And she noted that in the musical Oklahoma, even though Oklahoma City was never mentioned, the City of Ore had gone sailing on a pencil vane which collided with Harris’s iceberg.
The road to the island provided stout Carolina with a pass to Columbia Studios to see a movie about seven Daleks and their evil leader, Pierre, who used to be a country singer from Nashville, Tennessee.
A Texan called Steve Austin went to Utah to test for salt in the city lake but found vermin multiplying by eating virginia leaves piled up in a big rich mound.
He was washing tons of them out to the foot of Mt. Olympia, and washed the virginia leaves with Charlie.
He wished his cousin wasn’t mad at his son and wondered why the Ming vase looked shy to Anne.
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